Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Professor Lucifer Von Diablos is a showman, no doubt about it. He has that unique talent to deliver witticisms with perfect timing. Like P.T. Barnum, Groucho Marx, and W.C Fields, this carny is a quotable entertainer that will be remembered for his sayings long after he has stopped talking.
- On the Dogfaced Boy: “He’s a teenager. I’d expect him to chase tail, just not his own tail”
- On Jumbo Jenna: “She ate her way to the top, literally. We used to have a less fat fat lady, then Jenna ate her. The rest is history.”
“Once, we thought she was pregnant. Turns out she had just sat on a midget and he got stuck… where? Well, it sure wasn’t her armpit, Einstein”
- On guessing weights and ages: “Women hate it, but it’s not my fault if they’re old and fat.
- On Funnel Cakes: “Dough and white powder…Reminds me of the 80’s, before I joined the carnival.”
- On the Bumper Cars: “It’s like the L.A. Freeway, without guns.”
- On whether or not carnival games are fixed: “Well, they sure as hell ain’t broke! But if you mean, do we cheat… only when there’s money on the line”
- On the Circus: “Their tent smells like animal crap. Our midway smells like cotton candy. They have a bunch of clowns running the operation. We have rides. Which one are you gonna pay money for?”
- On the Carnival’s Ventriloquist Act: “One’s made out of wood. The others a dummy.”
- One the Great Galetto: “You wanna see him do a real magic trick? Watch how he disappears when you ask him where he learned how to escape from handcuffs.”
- On the Ringmaster: “Anybody that talks as much as he does should just shut up.”


  1. Haha! That's true about L.A. freeways, by the way.

  2. love this one! On the Carnival’s Ventriloquist Act: “One’s made out of wood. The others a dummy.”
    Great meeting you through the A-Z!